Kind and Clear Speech

I was reading surah al-Isra' yesterday when I came across this verse:

"And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy." Quran 17:53


It is one of Syaitan's lifetime goals to create dissent amongst us by any means, and he achieves this most often by our speech!

First let us try to understand this verse in context. The preceding verses are about how the Quraisy used to ask the Prophet questions mockingly, making fun of him and the Day of Judgment.  Imagine if someone were to mock our mothers. We would probably punch the person in the face, and many would think our response to be justified. The companions loved the Prophet even more than themselves, and it would be perfectly understandable if they responded to the Quraisy in a harsh manner. Yet, Allah tells them to say that which is best. Why? Because when people respond in like, Syaiton will seize the opportunity to blow it out of proportion and escalate the situation, which brings no good whatsoever particularly if we are trying to do da'wah. Now, if Allah commanded the companions to speak in the best way at a time when it would be completely justified to respond in harshness, what then of situations lesser than that in severity? Often what we face pales in comparison to what the companions faced, and so we definitely should be more earnest about following the command of this verse. Even if people mock the Prophet SAW using cartoons, articles etc as happens now and again, we should respond with wisdom. None of us can claim to love the prophet more than the companions, and if they were ordered to say that which is best even if what their opponents were saying hurt them greatly, then we most certainly should not go overboard in our reaction against those who mock the prophet or the things we hold sacred and dear in our hearts.

More generally though, this verse encourages us to speak in the best way in all situations. Another verse came to my mind in surah Al-Baqarah:

"O you who have believed, say not [to Allah 's Messenger], "Ra'ina" but say, "Unthurna" and listen. And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment." Quran 2:104

A little bit of context is required to understand this verse. According to the scholars of tafseer (exegesis), both the words Ra'ina and Unzurna have similar meanings in Arabic which is 'hear us', but the Jews of Madinah used to prefer to use the word Ra'ina because it meant as an insult in their language (Hebrew). Another opinion is that the word Ra'ina was also a form of rude speech in certain Arabic dialects. Thus Allah forbade the believers from using that word (Ra'ina) altogether and instead commanded the use of a different but clearer word (Unzurna) with the same meaning so as to avoid any misunderstanding that may have arisen if they had used the first word which could potentially be understood differently.

The lesson for us? We should choose to speak words that are not only kind, but clear too. If there is a word which has the slightest potential of being misunderstood due to it having a different meaning, then don't use it at all and use a different word instead! A good example would be the word 'gay'. In the English language, this word originally had a connotation of happiness and merriment. Now however it is more commonly used to mean something else altogether. Therefore, it would be foolish and outrageous to compliment someone who looks happy by saying, "Hey, you look gay today!" I mean, what is all that about son?? You want a smackdown?!


If only we would heed this advice from Allah the Most Wise, we would be able to prevent 90% of conflicts amongst ourselves. I'm not talking about war here. I'm referring instead to the daily conflicts we face with our friends, work colleagues, superiors etc. Most of us would agree that the chief causes of conflicts are poor choice of words when we speak leading to either ambiguity or subtle provocation. This includes sarcasm and name-calling which are expressly forbidden in Surah al-Hujuraat which you can look up in your own time.

Notice how in the first verse quoted Allah tells us to say that which is best, not just good. This is understood clearly from the Arabic word 'Ahsan' which is in the superlative form. Thus let us be mindful of our speech so as to prevent any opportunity for Syaitan to sow the seeds of dissent and hatred in our hearts. The world would be a better place, insya Allah.

Blame syaitan instead...

Disputes and misunderstandings occur all the time in our lives. How we deal with them dictates how much they will affect our lives and the lives of others around us. Here I would like to quote the advice the great prophet Ya'kub ((Jacob-'alaihissalam/peace be upon him (a.s)) gave his beloved son, the great prophet Yusof a.s. when the latter informed him of the miraculous dream he had about the heavenly bodies prostrating before him (refer to the first few verses of surah Yusof for more detail).

A little bit of background information is required here for us to understand the context of the advice. Yusof a.s. and his full brother Binyamin (Benjamin), had 10 older brothers from a different mother. Their father, prophet Ya'kub a.s. loved them all, but Yusof a.s. was the apple of his eye. The other ten brothers  were very jealous because of this and in their flawed logic often plotted to harm or get rid of Yusof a.s. in the hope that their father would then forget Yusof a.s. and love them more instead. The father of course knew of their ill intent, and would guard and cherish Yusof a.s. dearly, but not by being unfavourable towards his other children. When Yusof a.s. had the dream however, the father knew that it was a prophecy from Allah that the child would become a prophet, just like himself, and his forefathers Ishaq(Isaac)a.s. and Ibrahim(Abraham)a.s.. The father however knew that if his other ten children heard of this dream, they would be even more jealous of Yusof a.s., and would certainly seek to finish him off. So the father says to Yusof a.s.:

"He said, "O my dear son, do not relate your vision to your brothers or they will contrive against you a plan. Indeed Satan, to man, is a manifest enemy." Quran 12:5

Observe how the father moves the blame away from the brothers towards Syaitan. Although Ya'kub a.s. does tell Yusof a.s. not to relate the dream to his brothers lest they plot an evil plan against him, he adds that the real enemy is not them, but Syaitan who forever inspires men to do evil. How beautiful is this advice? Ya'kub a.s. does not want Yusof a.s. to hate his own brothers, but instead wants their brotherhood to be preserved, and so shifts the blame to the main culprit, Syaitan. There is so much for us to learn from this, for often when we fall into dispute, we are quick to judge others and lay the blame on them, sometimes to the extent of assassinating their very character. And onlookers to the problem too often add fuel to the fire by affirming the 'evil' of such persons, with whom they may have had rifts in the past. I am guilty of this myself!

How wise it would be then for us to take a step back, and make excuses for those with whom we had a misunderstanding, instead of quickly passing judgment upon them. In fact, how unfair is it for us to be so unforgiving towards others, when all that has happened between us and them, is just a misunderstanding, not even a crime like what the brothers of Yusof a.s. wanted to do (and finally did) to him?? The brothers of Yusof had an evil intent, and would go on to carry out their plot, which their father knew would happen, and yet he still did not want Yusof  a.s.to hate his brothers, and so placed the blame on Syaitan instead.

Let us be of those who think before we blame the world at large for our problems. Let us practice empathy by putting ourselves in the other person's shoe, to look at the problem from their perspective, before we pass judgment. Lets us not be lawyers for our own flaws, but judges for the flaws of others. And if we have indeed been wronged, then let us follow the advice of Ya'kub a.s., by making excuses for the other party  or transpose the blame onto Syaitan so we can preserve the ties we have with our family and friends. Ultimately, we all want and most definitely need the forgiveness of Allah the Oft Forgiving. One way to attain that forgiveness is to be forgiving ourselves, and that is more easily done when we shift the blame away from those who have wronged us, unto Syaitan. May Allah help us to heed the advice of His great Prophet Ya'kub a.s..

Of Simple Weddings and Sad Trees

When I went back to Penang for Raya this time, I attended a wedding of a cousin of a cousin in Balik Pulau. Balik Pulau is a quaint town with a lot of greenery. The wedding was held in one of the kampong houses by the roadside. There were three canopies for the guests and in the verandah of the house, there was table very simply decorated for the newly-weds and their closest relatives. It was nice to see such simplicity in a time when most people like to have very grand weddings, sometimes to compete with one another, as to who has the most grandiose wedding of them all. Often youngsters follow blindly and rather stupidly too, the wedding style and theme of celebrities which usually cost a fortune. Celebrities can do it because they are rich, but we are not and so should refrain from hosting grand weddings at the expense of our financial stability. How many times have we heard of couples who have ‘meletop’ weddings and then get into so much of debt which then destabilises their marriage, not uncommonly resulting in divorce. Wedding feasts are meant as a celebration for new couples and their families, as well as a form of worship to show gratitude to Allah for allowing the union of two beings in love in a sacred bond of marriage. And that is why it is very recommended to invite poor people to attend the feast. The prophet said, “The worst food is that of a wedding banquet (walima) to which only the rich are invited whilst the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Messenger (Allah bless him & give him peace).” (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4882)

Overly lavish wedding feasts are wasteful and hateful in the sight of Allah. We should strive to have moderate feasts so we may gain His blessings. It’s ok to have a grand wedding if it is within our means, but it shouldn’t be so lavish as to be detestable , and certainly shouldn’t be done at all if it is beyond our means which can lead to unnecessary debt!

Now back to the wedding I attended. At different corners of the canopies were baskets filled with rambutans from the rambutan trees within the compound of the house, for the guests to take as and when they like. All the kampong houses in the vicinity had rambutan trees in their compounds, and so abundant were the rambutans, the red colour of the fruit eclipsed the green of the leaves! The compound of the wedding house also had others fruit trees like guava, duku (from whose branches I managed to pluck some duku and eat them on the spot), mangosteen, and others. I was very thrilled at the experience of being able to pluck duku fruits directly from the tree and eat them, as it is not a very common fruit tree. I have a rambutan tree in my own house and managed to pluck so many rambutans a few weeks ago. Plucking duku though was something completely new to me, hence the excitement. I was actually confused as to the difference between duku, langsat, and duku langsat, but an uncle at the house explained the difference and showed me a bunch of ripe duku deep within the branches which I excitedly picked off and ate.

Duku tree with basket of rambutans in the shade

so many rambutans!

yellow rambutan tree across the road.... enlarge for better view

The fruits though were not always abundant as they are this year. For more than 20 years, the fruit trees hardly bore any fruits and an auntie living in the house attributed this phenomenon to the death of her mother who used to take very good care of the trees. When she was alive, they would bear lots of fruits, but upon her death, they beared very little fruit, if any until this year, when suddenly they started bringing forth lots of fruit. I suppose the trees mourned for the lady who took care of them by not bearing fruit, and such a long mourning period too. There had been no weddings at the house since the old lady died, until now. This was her grandson’s wedding, and perhaps the trees came out of their mourning to celebrate a new beginning in the house, bearing an abundance of fruits.

As a write this, I can already imagine some people shaking their heads while they read this post, thinking that I have clearly lost the plot! But I believe that living creatures other than humans do mourn for the dead. It is probably quite obvious in animals, but trees mourn too. There is a hadith reported by Anas ibn Malik that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) used to deliver his sermons reclining on the trunk of a palm tree. The sahabah (RA) then made a pulpit for him and he delivered a sermon from it, but the trunk wept like the weeping of a she-camel. So, he descended and stroked it and it ceased to weep (Tirmidhi, graded as sahih by Albani). So let us care for nature sincerely (trees included in case it isn’t obvious enough!), as it is a duty Allah has entrusted us with. Not only will we be rewarded by Allah for it, nature too will make dua’ for us, insya Allah.

The Night of a Thousand Months, NOT a thousand kuihs!

We have now come to the last ten nights of Ramadan, alhamdulillah. The Porphet SAW asked us to seek Lailatul Qadr in the odd nights of the last 10 nights. There is a whole surah in the Quran about this night (surah al-qadr):



(1. Verily, We have sent it down in the Night of Al-Qadr.) (2. And what will make you know what the Night of Al-Qadr is) (3. The Night of Al-Qadr is better than a thousand months.) (4. Therein descend the angels and the Ruh by their Lord's permission with every matter.) (5. There is peace until the appearance of dawn.) al-Qadr verses 1-5

Let us first explore what Lailatul Qadr means. Lailah means night in arabic. Al-qadr has a few meanings. We will discuss three of them here. Firstly, it can mean power like it is used in the oft heard phrase in the Quran 'Innallaha 'ala kulli syai-in Qadeer' i.e. Allah has Power of all things; it also has meanings pertaining to restriction and narrowness (this is the word Allah often uses when he speaks about restricting the provision of his slaves); and finally it can mean the Decree of Allah.

It is perhaps obvious why it would be called the Night of Power. It is better than a thousand months, and in it all the angels along with the Archangel Jibreel descend to earth with the permission of Allah. Jibreel's primary role is to bring down revelation from the heavens to the prophets. After the death of the Prophet SAW, there is actually no reason for the powerful and mighty chief of the angels to come down.  So him coming down every year on the night of Power along with the other angels is a big thing indeed. Perhaps too, the night is a demonstration of Allah's power and ability to do anything as He wishes. It is the night of abundant blessings, a night of forgiveness and there is no one who can question His will to bless the creation with such a night out of His infinite kindness.

How then is restrictiveness associated with this night? Some scholars have said that so many angels descend on that night that there is hardly any space for them to stand on earth. Their sheer numbers restricts the space on earth, hence the night of restriction. If such is the abundance of angels, then what of the blessings of the night, for where there are angels, there are blessings!

And finally, it is also called the night of decree because during this night, the Decree for all matters of the coming year are brought down. He says in surah Ad-Dukkhan:

﴿فِيهَا يُفْرَقُ كُلُّ أَمْرٍ حَكِيمٍ ﴾

(Therein is decreed every matter of decree.) (44:4)
And so it is imperative to make lots of dua' asking Allah to decree what is best for us in the coming year, and that He facilitates our affairs in the right direction.

The most important dua' of the night though is the dua' the prophet taught his wife 'Aisyah. Imam Ahmad recorded from `A'ishah, that she said, "O Messenger of Allah! If I find the Night of Al-Qadr what should I say'' He replied,

«قُولِي: اللْهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي»

(Say: "O Allah! Verily, You are the Of the Pardoning, You love to pardon, so pardon me.'') Collected by Tirmidhi,Ibn Majah, An-nasa'i. Some scholars point out that 'afuww is slightly different from maghfirah (which is also forgiveness) in that 'afuww is forgiveness without having to go through the hisab/reckoning, whereas maghfirah is forgiveness after having to go through hisab in front of Allah, which is actually a very very terrifying experience given the fact that one knows while undergoing the hisab that at the end, one's place is either in Jannah or the Fire. Hence 'afuww is of a higher and better form of forgiveness, and that is why we should memorize the dua' and say it many times in the last 10 nights. Also, 'afuww connotates something in excess according to the verse in surah al-baqarah:


And they ask you what they ought to spend. Say: "That which is (spare) beyond your needs.'' al-Baqarah verse 219

So this dua' is not only about asking for forgiveness, but also about asking Allah to bless us with more than whatever we ask of Him, to give us an excess of blessings. Subhanallah! What a powerful dua'.


With such a fantastic bonus and barakah filled night for our benefit, which Allah has gifted to us out of His infinte Mercy, what a waste it is then if we do not seek it, spending the last 10 nights in prayer and other forms of worship. What a waste if instead of worship, we spend the night sleeping all the way to fajr, or going to Mydin and Kamdar for shopping (which is why some ustazs here often light heartedly remind us that the night is called lailatul qadr , NOT lailatulkamdar ), or making all sorts of kuih for personal or business purposes. Such a waste, it is almost sinful. Nay, it is indeed sinful, for the Prophet said ameen to the prayer of Jibril that those who are not forgiven after Ramadan has passed(i.e. they did not bother to take the opportunity to make use of this blessed month, especially the blessing of the night of Power), then such a person is doomed to enter the fire and is far from the mercy of Allah. Wal'iyazuillah.

If we remain heedless to such a grand blessing from Ar-Rahmaan, then I doubt there is anything in this world that can make us care about the fate of our souls in the Hereafter. What then is the end of such nonchalance and heedlessness, if not the Fire of Jahannam.

May Allah make us of those who appreciate His blessings and may He make us of those who take the opportunity to earn His pleasure and reward in this blessed month, especially on the Night of Power, Lailatul Qadr.