It is one of Syaitan's lifetime goals to create dissent amongst us by any means, and he achieves this most often by our speech!
First let us try to understand this verse in context. The preceding verses are about how the Quraisy used to ask the Prophet questions mockingly, making fun of him and the Day of Judgment. Imagine if someone were to mock our mothers. We would probably punch the person in the face, and many would think our response to be justified. The companions loved the Prophet even more than themselves, and it would be perfectly understandable if they responded to the Quraisy in a harsh manner. Yet, Allah tells them to say that which is best. Why? Because when people respond in like, Syaiton will seize the opportunity to blow it out of proportion and escalate the situation, which brings no good whatsoever particularly if we are trying to do da'wah. Now, if Allah commanded the companions to speak in the best way at a time when it would be completely justified to respond in harshness, what then of situations lesser than that in severity? Often what we face pales in comparison to what the companions faced, and so we definitely should be more earnest about following the command of this verse. Even if people mock the Prophet SAW using cartoons, articles etc as happens now and again, we should respond with wisdom. None of us can claim to love the prophet more than the companions, and if they were ordered to say that which is best even if what their opponents were saying hurt them greatly, then we most certainly should not go overboard in our reaction against those who mock the prophet or the things we hold sacred and dear in our hearts.
More generally though, this verse encourages us to speak in the best way in all situations. Another verse came to my mind in surah Al-Baqarah:
"O you who have believed, say not [to Allah 's Messenger], "Ra'ina" but say, "Unthurna" and listen. And for the disbelievers is a painful punishment." Quran 2:104
A little bit of context is required to understand this verse. According to the scholars of tafseer (exegesis), both the words Ra'ina and Unzurna have similar meanings in Arabic which is 'hear us', but the Jews of Madinah used to prefer to use the word Ra'ina because it meant as an insult in their language (Hebrew). Another opinion is that the word Ra'ina was also a form of rude speech in certain Arabic dialects. Thus Allah forbade the believers from using that word (Ra'ina) altogether and instead commanded the use of a different but clearer word (Unzurna) with the same meaning so as to avoid any misunderstanding that may have arisen if they had used the first word which could potentially be understood differently.
The lesson for us? We should choose to speak words that are not only kind, but clear too. If there is a word which has the slightest potential of being misunderstood due to it having a different meaning, then don't use it at all and use a different word instead! A good example would be the word 'gay'. In the English language, this word originally had a connotation of happiness and merriment. Now however it is more commonly used to mean something else altogether. Therefore, it would be foolish and outrageous to compliment someone who looks happy by saying, "Hey, you look gay today!" I mean, what is all that about son?? You want a smackdown?!
If only we would heed this advice from Allah the Most Wise, we would be able to prevent 90% of conflicts amongst ourselves. I'm not talking about war here. I'm referring instead to the daily conflicts we face with our friends, work colleagues, superiors etc. Most of us would agree that the chief causes of conflicts are poor choice of words when we speak leading to either ambiguity or subtle provocation. This includes sarcasm and name-calling which are expressly forbidden in Surah al-Hujuraat which you can look up in your own time.
Notice how in the first verse quoted Allah tells us to say that which is best, not just good. This is understood clearly from the Arabic word 'Ahsan' which is in the superlative form. Thus let us be mindful of our speech so as to prevent any opportunity for Syaitan to sow the seeds of dissent and hatred in our hearts. The world would be a better place, insya Allah.
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