Advice for leaders: Gentleness

"So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. " Quran 3:159

This is one of the many verses in surah Ali-'Imran which form part of the post battle of Uhud commentary. This verse however is directed specifically at the Prophet SAW in his capacity as a leader. Some context is required to appreciate properly the reason this verse was revealed. In the battle of Uhud, the Prophet stationed the archers on the Mount of Uhud and told them to stay there no matter what happens. Early in the battle, the muslims were winning and quite fantastically too, and the Quraish could be seen fleeing the battlefield. When the archers saw this, they decided to leave their positions to take the spoils of war down below. They thought there was no way the enemies could turn things around, and it was okay for them now to leave their stations, disobeying the leader the Prophet left in charge who told them to stay put. Khalid al-Walid who would later become Muslim and be given the title Saifullah al-maslul (the unsheathed sword of Allah), saw the archers retreating and took the opportunity to mount an attack from behind the mountain, leading to chaos in the ranks of the muslims. The muslims split up, some fled out of fear and hopelessness especially when rumours spread that the Prophet SAW had died. Some reports tell us that the Prophet did pass out temporarily due to a blow to his head, and the helmet he was wearing even pierced his cheeks and knocked a tooth out! In addition, his beloved uncle Hamza had died, and his body was mutilated by Hind the wife of Abu Sufyan and many other companions were martyred. Basically, it was a disaster. It was not a complete loss, but the Quraish managed to exact revenge, all because the archers left their spot.

So you can imagine how disappointed and angry the Prophet must've been about this completely preventable disaster, due to the slip up on the part of the archers. It should be stated though that they, may Allah be pleased with them, were forgiven by Allah as mentioned in the preceding verses.

The verse above, was revealed probably just before or possibly after the Prophet SAW spoke with them after the battle during their postmortem meeting. He dealt with them gently and Allah states that his gentleness was due to the mercy of Allah. If it was revealed before he spoke to them, then it could also mean that Allah was ordering the Prophet SAW to be gentle with them because he is an ambassador of Allah who is Most merciful, and even if the companions were not expecting mercy from the Prophet, they were expecting Mercy from Allah. Hence the command to be merciful and gentle.

The next part of the verse is very profound but the full meaning is often lost in translation. Allah says that if the Prophet had dealt with them with roughness and a harsh heart (which would be perfectly understandable given his disappointment about what had happened), they would have dispersed from him. The word translated as disbanded is 'infaddu' which actually is used for the shattering of glass when dropped from a height i.e. a complete shattering the makes the pieces broken and scattered so much, it would be impossible to put the pieces back together again. Now this is interesting because the companions went through thick and thin with the Prophet SAW, and they loved him dearly. It would be almost impossible for them to disperse away from him never to return, like shattered glass. Yet, Allah says that they would have dispersed from him if he was harsh. If that was the case with the Prophet and his companions who were immensely loyal to him with a loyalty never seen before in the history of humanity, then what about us, ordinary people who lead and expect to be followed when we are often quite harsh! Harshness pushes people away, even if you feel that it is absolutely justified for you to be harsh. Of course there are times when harshness is required, but it is the exception rather than the norm. Using harshness especially when those you lead already feel bad and guilty for what has happened, is terribly counter productive.

Let us imagine a real life example. Imagine you are a leader of a Islamic body and you are about to hold an event. Everything was planned properly and your subordinates were clear about what they had to do. Suddenly, on the day of the event, due to a slip up of of group of subordinates, the event becomes a disaster. Now if you as the leader decide to tell them off harshly after the event when they are already feeling bad about it, they are most definitely going to leave the committee and probably never come back. If you then say, "Well, if they wanna get upset about what i said and not come back, then they probably don't really care for Islam do they?!" This, my friends, is arrogance. This is exactly why Allah ordains gentleness when dealing with people especially in such situations. You may be upon the truth, you may be right, but that doesn't mean you can afford to be lax with regards to your attitude and personality. Your personality and manner in conveying that truth is as important as the truth itself.

Allah then says, "Pardon them" i.e. overlook their mistakes and pretend nothing happened. Don't bring it up when you see them for they are already disappointed with themselves and you shouldn't make them feel worse. The command to "ask forgiveness for them" adds to the beauty of this pardoning. Here Allah is telling the Messenger to cover for them, ask forgiveness for them. It should be mentioned though that this means asking forgiveness in private, not public. You don't go in and say, "May Allah forgive you for what you had done." I mean really?? That is just blaming under the guise of asking for forgiveness. The command to ask forgiveness properly for them teaches the leader to be forgiving too. It teaches him to let go of their mistakes, because if he is asking Allah to forgive them, then he certainly should too.

Following that, Allah commands the Prophet to have 'syura' with them i.e. consult them in matters. And this is to properly consult them and take their suggestions (as he did on many occasions), not just pretend to consult whilst actually ignoring their thoughts. This is interesting because the Prophet, given that he receives guidance from Allah directly, has no need to consult anyone else. But Allah still instructs him to do it. If such is the case for the Prophet, then what about us who are hardly upright or all-capable?! This consultation would also have had a positive psychological effect on the companions because they were actually expecting to be scolded and shunned, but must have felt very relieved when the Prophet consulted them in future affairs. It would mean he genuinely forgave them. Imagine a boss who is angry with a worker for messing up an important deal. Okay, not firing the employee would be considered enough of a forgiveness for most people, but the employee would still feel bad about it. If however, after the incident, the boss engages with the employee, asking his opinions and actually taking his opinions into account, he wouldn't feel too bad about what had happened and would be motivated to do better, because he knows the boss has forgiven him. This part of the verse teaches leaders to not only look at things from their persepctive, but also the perspective of those they are leading. Subhnallah.

During one of my shifts in the neonatal unit at HKL, we had a baby who was born in distress. Because I was still very new to the whole neonatal resuscitation thingy, I panicked despite my medical officer (MO) being there. It was a pair of twins, and both were sort of floppy, which of course isn't a good thing. The MO told me to carry out the basic steps for the 2nd baby while she tended to the first. The 2nd baby though was just not improving and so the MO came over to my baby and began resuscitation. She asked me to count the heart rate using the stethoscope but i couldn't hear a thing. And because I was in panic mode, I stuffed the stethoscope deeper into my ear, not realizing that it only made things worse as the rubber ends clogged up my ears! I said to her I couldn't hear anything. She told me to then feel for the umbilical arterial pulse, which I also could not appreciate. She then said in an irritated voice, "Give me the stethoscope!" and she managed to get the reading straight away! I was so flustered and frustrated about my incompetence. Then I forgot to put the ventilator(neopuff) in the incubator when the baby was about to be transferred to the neonatal ward from the operating theatre. The MO had already told me earlier to get things ready but I just messed up because of the panic. Again she snapped, "Aqtar, where is the neopuff??!" and I quickly grabbed it from the resus trolley and gave it to her. I felt really really bad that night. But then, when i went up to the ward, this same MO very calmly asked me to assist her to place a catheter in the baby's umbilical artery and I happily obliged. It made me feel relieved that she was no longer mad at me. I have always been grateful to this MO for not making my experience any worse or making me feel like a hopeless piece of amoeba, as happens not uncommonly in hospitals in Malaysia. I pray she, Dr Sangari Kunaseelan, excels in  her endeavor to be a Paediatrician and I'm sure she will because of her positive attitude.

Now back to the verse. Finally, Allah tells the Prophet to strive to come up with the best plan after consulting them (the word 'azamta means to properly strive and exhaust all means to carry out a plan) and then place his trust in Allah. This is important in our time when most of us are so lazy to do things properly and instead rely on Allah whilst doing things half halfheartedly. What's worse, we have the audacity to blame qadr (fate) if things don't turn out well when in fact it is we who did not do out best before placing our trusts in Allah. Let us do our best, then put our trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.

We are all leaders in one way or another. This verse teaches us some very important lessons about leadership, especially in times of crisis. So the next time we feel we can be harsh/rude because we have all the reasons to be so(and indeed those reasons may be legitimate), let us pause and think about how the Prophet had every right to be angry and yet showed gentleness by the mercy of Allah. Show gentleness instead, because that gentleness will go a long way, insya Allah.


p/s: And that is a short tafseer of this verse which I gathered from Nouman Ali Khan's tafseer series on bayyinah.tv. I recommend it highly. Definitely worth the money insya Allah.