Emotional Intelligence

"McBroom was a pilot with a terrible temper. One day he was in the cockpit of the plane with several other trainee pilots when the landing gears started giving trouble. So engrossed was he in tyring to get it to work, he didn't realize the fuel gauge approached the empty level. And so severe was his temper, the other trainee pilots were too terrified to let him know lest they suffer his wrath. In the end, the plane crashed and 10 of them died."

This story is from a book I am reading now by Dr Daniel Goleman, a psycholgist, entitled emotional intelligence. It speaks of the importance of having emotional intelligence for good communication, for without it, terrible things happen, culminating in a story like the one above. This story is retold these days in piloting schools to show the importance of harmonious communication, which can only achieved if the team members are attuned to each others emotions. And the emotion that one needs to master in order to understand others and hence communicate effectively is empathy. It is the key emotion required for successful interpersonal relationships. It is different from sympathy in that sympathy is about feeling sorry for a person, whereas empathy is feeling what that person is feeling i.e. 'putting yourself in his shoes'. Wihtout empathy, we fail to read a situation properly and give no importance in learning the most appropriate way to deal/respond to the situation. It is because McBroom lacked empathy that he couldnt understand how terrified his subordinates were of him, and so he continued with his stern and harsh ways, leading to that unfortunate tragedy.

Some people don't mind working with a screaming boss and look at it positively, turning it into a driving force for them to do better. but the vast majority of human beings CANNOT work in such an environment. The medical field is one such environment here in Malaysia that has a lot to learn from thsi story.

I personally do not think people like McBroom should be allowed to practice medicine in a setting where teaching junior staff is inevitable, and certainly should not be allowed to take charge of junior staff like housemen at all, for the consequences can be catastrophic. yes, maybe one or two will take the stress in good light, but others may be so terrified to inform the senior doctor of a situation that may result in a patient's death!

In any case, it is prescribed in Islam for us to be gentle in all that we do. As the prophet of mercy said, "Show gentleness, for if gentleness is found in anything, it beautifies it and when it is taken out from anything it damages it." [Abu Dawud]

May Allah guide us to what is best. ameen.

(modified from my facebook post on the 11th of June 2012)