Favours

Sometimes we think that we are troubling people when we ask them for favours. Well, actually asking for favours from the people who love you is in fact not troubling at all, provided you don’t do it all the time. In fact, those who love us like to do favours for us and when we ask for favours from them, it in a way proves out trust in them, our dependence on them. Being dependent on someone is not a bad thing altogether. Of course being dependent on others to the point of losing one’s own independence is of course bad. But being dependent on a person whom you know cares for you is a good thing because it makes that person feel appreciated and trusted. It makes the person feel the care is mutual. Let me give an example. When I went back home the other day for winter, I was jet lagged and so I stayed up reading a book in the hall downstairs. My mother woke up in the middle of the night to tell my younger brother to sleep (he was awake till 4am watching movies on his laptop!) when she came down to see why the light was on and she saw me reading:

“Aren’t you sleepy yet?”

“No la mak, still jet lagged... and the book is too good to put down *grins*.” I was reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Housini. Recommended reading!

“Do you want to drink anything? Mummy can make for you.”

“No need la.” I didn’t want to trouble her.

“Are you sure?”

It is at this point I thought that perhaps she wants to make me a drink, so my response: “umm... okla.”

So she made me the coffee and said, “Try to get some sleep ok. Gud nyte putter (pronounced put-er. It’s Punjabi for my dear child).”

“Good night mak.” And she went upstairs to sleep.

A simple act which I believe made her happy.

See, my point here is, sometimes we should let the people who care for us and love us do things for us, especially our mothers. We might think we are troubling them, but there is no such thing as feeling troubled when a loved one asks for a favour, at least that’s what I think.

The same can be applied to really close friends. Let them do favours for you, if you know that they love you and care for you. Ask them for favours so they feel they are needed by you. It will make your the bond you have fostered between yourselves stronger, insya Allah. It is even better if the favour is a thing which is beautiful in the sight of Allah, and that does not exclude asking him/her to make you a cup of coffee. =)

(originally posted on facebook on the 30th of april 2009)